Their is always been something about me that i never really liked.

Whenever I meet new people and befriend them, i change their lives, for the better, or for the worse, it pisses me off, because i don't want to be that person who is a life changer.

its like the movie where that guy has sex with all these girls and they end up finding their perfect mate, yet he doesn't, that seems to be me, but in terms of friends anyways.....

I know what i may write may seem offensive in some way, or the way i act is just rude, but their is no changing who and what i am.

many people just don't understand why i do or say the things i do. hell even i don't understand what i do most of the times, its like another person inside of me is telling me what to do, and i just do it, i can't help it, because if i don't do what it says i might as well just not be who i am.

so many times i have tried suicide, and so many times i have failed, i don't like being this, this, this thing that i am, it disgusts me sometimes yet i can't seem to (breaks into tears)

i have blood on my hands, all of them people i met online, and only tried to help, i don't remember them, all i remember is i failed them. all i do is keep failing people and having to hurt myself by digging myself deeper into something that only hurts.

im a walking plauge among people, its time i did something about it...